Why did the chicken cross the road?
BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a
change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MCCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the needs to engage in cooperation and
dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little
chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to
ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets the
chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about
me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The
chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
Mission accomplished!

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it
now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't
realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the
road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not
taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which
is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take
falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this
chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live
his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access tothe other side of
the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the
plain truth? That's why they call it the 'other
side.' Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And if you eat that
chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all
chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the
other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road. It's as
plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will
be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time,
the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of
molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the
road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an
integral part of eChicken2008. This new platform is much
more stable and will never cra?#@&&^(C%........ .reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?